On A Diminishing Spirit
What was once one of my favorite classes has now become the class I dread the most. I found myself saying this morning, “I hate tuesdays and thursdays.” And I know it isn’t because of linear algebra, I still find myself grinning like a fool while in class and taking notes and participating, oddly, more than others in the class. It isn’t because the day is horribly long–my Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays last until four. It is because Rock/Soul/Progressive has somehow broken some sort of spirit inside of me. No offense, Dr. Campbell, but I feel as though everything I’ve done since birth has been wrong in your eyes. I realize this might seem as though I’m just complaining or making excuses, but, honestly, a compliment now and then wouldn’t cause any wounds to open. So the class which I was pretty excited about has somehow become exactly what it was never designed to be-the bane of my existence. I feel like something about the atmosphere of the class needs to be changed to remedy this and renew my spirit.
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I praise you for being so open and honest on your blog, it is not necessarily an easy thing to do.
I know I don’t know you, but I can understand how you are feeling. Like I said, at least you are being honest though and wanting change instead of just complaining and being complacent. I would challenge you to be the change you want to see, talk to Dr.Campbell, talk to others in your class.
Maybe other people will respond to this post and you can come up with some ideas, I hope that it works out for you and you can finish up the semester with a bang.
I take your concerns seriously, Danielle. Let’s talk.
I have never met you and it’s very safe to say we are far apart in age ( I’m an adult student) but our experience with these kinds of feelings are very similar. I am a writer, and as Dr.Campbell can attest to, I’ve had my fair share of bumps along the way here. At times I felt like my Profs didn’t believe in me, thought little of my writing, and I got so down I felt just didn’t belong. Boy, was I wrong.
What my Profs were really doing was taking what I had and pushing me to go farther, to explore, and to discover places in myself that I never knew existed. It’s a pretty amazing process. But I had to trust and grab onto the learning and let it become part of me. It can still be hard, still give you twinges (big and small) and still be a bit of a struggle at times. But it’s worth it. Does it mean I’m crazy about every single class? No. But I will take something from every professor and every class I walk out of and keep it with me the rest of my life.
Give yourself the gift of time. Your writing touches me you know. When things are tough take it by the day,the hour or the minute and know you’re not alone, not by a long shot.